Ripples in a pond

January 2025

This month we asked our students to write about someone in their life whose interaction with them had a profound influence on their lives today.

How you can change without knowing

Cameron Madden
MSMU Class of 2028

I think that whether we know it or not, there is always someone who has fundamentally assisted in changing something about ourselves, whether for better or worse. As the holiday season concludes and I am surrounded by family and friends, it makes me realize that the slightest change to my personality or character would have changed every interaction and infliction I have made on them, and furthermore what I know about them, the world and myself. It is kind of impossible to really know when I turned into the person I became today, but I think that besides being born there is one distinctive time in which I can say set me up for the future. This time corresponds with the introduction to one of the greatest people I know to this day, and for the sake of anonymity we shall call her Jules.

It was during sophomore year, a time where I was in the maximum pubescent experience, wondering just how my world will turn out, while also ignoring the future and world to just enjoy the moment. I had somewhat complicated ideas of plans, but it all basically boiled down to keeping good grades, going to college, and ending up in law school to become some kind of lawyer. Because of this mock-up of a life goal, I was taking unique classes in my high school that would prepare me for office and legal assistant work. During the multiple years of going to this class, I know that the people who attended it with me did not care for me much, and honestly the feeling was mutual. That was except for one person who I met there, obviously being Jules since I built this background up to explain her! She was quite reserved, but personally extroverted and built with a good sense of humor and "outgoingness" (a.k.a. she was feisty.) We certainly clicked, but for the first months of knowing her I regret to say that we were just classroom friends, and it meant nothing more to me at the time than just knowing a person I could talk to.

You see, at this time I was really struggling with friendships due to me being truly separated from my best friend since young childhood, and the friends that I made at school were all changing and I felt less and less included. Besides my mock-up plans I didn’t know what I myself wanted to do, nor what I thought was fun or interesting. I was really just boring, at least in my own opinion, and I really wanted to find out what made me happy. All my friendships by this logic then were kept alive by convenience, and material interest rather than being interested by the person.

Yet as I got closer to Jules, I began to find more things to which brought me joy, but there are a couple of specific things that made me develop differently in terms of deciding who I was. Jules wasn’t fine herself, and without giving away anything I had promised to keep secret, she was really struggling mentally with a lot of things. The first day I caught her crying really was a turn around for me specifically. For hours she spilled out feelings about things I had no idea about, and for the first time in so long I realized that she, my friend, was a real and amazing person; not just another classmate or seat next to me. I knew from that moment I had to step in and do everything I could to make her happy, and looking back this is what really helped my sentiment of commitment towards others. I really think a large part of my purpose is to be of help to others, and to make the lives of people I care about easier, because more than anything else that is what makes me happy, and I know that because it sums up the whole dynamic I have had with her since then, and I couldn’t be happier! My experience with her made me reproach my relationships with all my other friends, and grow closer and stronger with them, all because of her just existing.

Not only was her existence enough, but her perseverance taught me way more than I have given it credit for! She was smart for sure, but due to her own interests and also problems, school and its work were not priorities; especially when her attitude often made her feud with teachers! Yet every time, when the workload seemed impossible and the grade could have turned to disaster, she worked harder than I knew was possible and got it done. Everytime. It really inspires me to get things done, both professionally and personally. My work ethic and personal goals were all changed and inspired by her, but there is one more minor miracle that she has done (quite inadvertently) that has made me believe not only in the things I am now inspired to do, but in something beyond. I never was religious in my youth, and when going to Sunday school I just went for some cookies that were given to us. Yet during this time of feeling lost, I prayed on a specific night about some specific things, relating to friends and such, and one of the things I asked was to get the numbers of people I was friendly with. Wouldn’t you believe that it was the night before Jules broke down as mentioned before, and right after that she definitely cemented not only our friendship but my faith, as she made me put my number in her phone.

I feel as though on that particular day, and the further experience of knowing her, my old and depreciated views of myself and the world were taken away and given new purpose, new meaning, and for that I realize just how much of my confidence, life, and faith I have gained from her. Thank you, Jules, you will never know how much you have meant to me, because even I am still inspired and am encouraged to be better by your example! I hope all you readers can find someone just like this, or at least one without the problems that hurt them, so they don’t have to hurt at all!

Read other articles by Cameron Madden

Making History
  
Gracie Smith
MSMU Class of 2027

"Middle school sucked". It is a common phrase spoken by middle schoolers around the country. Nevertheless, it holds even to this day. During my middle school years, I always faced new challenges—mostly that of being alone. In 6th grade, I had one friend, my friend of nearly 10 years at that point. However, he and I never crossed paths since we had all different teachers and different "teams" as our school did. In my first year of middle school, I was left to fend for myself in a way I suppose I never had to before. I made new acquaintances, though nothing to brag about. Navigated my way around the new building and even survived gym class and my first encounter with locker rooms. As someone who was painfully shy and honestly preferred to be alone, I hated myself for being the way I was; so introverted.

7th grade came and went rather quickly. However, that year I reconnected with some friends I had made in preschool. These connections ultimately guided me to finish that year of school. It was also that year I became more and more confident in myself. I was asked to give a presentation to my entire class on Crohn’s Disease, which I would say turned out pretty successfully.

It wasn’t until 8th grade that I learned it was okay to like something other than science. This was all thanks to my history teacher, Mr. Robert Housch. I remember the first day of class, and I thought immediately to myself "Oh my gosh, I’m going to hate this class." I went home to my mother that day and shared with her everything about my first day and she told me, "Gracie, you’re going to love that class."

I thought about her words for the next few days, still not fully convinced. However, Mr. Housch was all about routine, as was I. Quickly, I recognized the routine and came overly prepared to class, ready to answer each question. So much so that I was competing with my best friend to see who could throw their hand up the fastest. My favorite memory of being in Mr. Housch’s class was acting out the Battle of Bunker Hill. We went outside to the hill behind the middle school, and acted out the battle, running uphill and "loading" our bayonets. In addition to our fine acting skills, we were required to memorize the Preamble to the Constitution. Mr. Housch had played for us a song that, to this day, I can still recite. My favorite part of the course, however, was Gettysburg. Having always been fascinated by it since it’s 20 minutes from my house, I took to this unit rather quickly. It was a cold January day when Mr. Housch gave me and my class a tour of the Gettysburg Battlefield since he is a Licensed Battlefield Guide himself. It was at this point that I realized what I wanted to study.

I left Middle School a very different person than the one I was when I entered. I was very disappointed I couldn’t just have Mr. Housch teach me history in High School too. Nonetheless, I was moved by his passion for History. When my little brother Jack was in the 8th grade, I was overjoyed to hear that he also would have Mr. Housch to teach him. I have to admit, I saw an opportunity and I took it. I emailed Mr. Housch as a junior in High School and asked to chaperone Jack’s trip to Gettysburg. He wrote back and was more than willing to have me chaperone. I think I was more excited about the field trip than my brother. The trip this time was a bit different. I not only knew what to expect, but I was able to retain and appreciate more of what Mr. Housch was explaining about the battle. This led me to study it some more in my free time and visit Gettysburg with my father and my aunt - I wrote about those adventures in another article.

When it came time to graduate, I had a very important decision to make. Not where I wanted to go, but what I wanted to study. I was faced with the pressure of going into the medical field since A) that’s where the money is, and B) my family "saw me working in a lab". Both of those points are hard to dispute. However, I decided to put what I wanted and what would make me happy ahead of what would make others happy. Thus, I chose to major in History. Had Mr. Housch not fueled my interest and now passion for History, I would not be accomplishing the things I am today. Despite Mr. Housch encouraging me to study law, I decided that might not be the best field since I tend to cry during arguments.

Mr. Housch taught me in middle school, aided me in high school, and is still guiding me in college. Last summer he met with me and my father to help me train for the Licensed Battlefield Guide Exam that I just took in early December. The exam contained 161 questions and 3 essays. After nearly 2 years of preparation, Mr. Housh supplied me with yet another tour of the battlefield, as well as suggested readings and practice questions for the exam. Never in my life have I encountered someone who wants so much to see people succeed in doing what they love best.

Mr. Housch, thank you for making history fun. Thank you for normalizing a passion for the past. Thank you for your time, your effort, and your support to help me accomplish my dreams. You have made such a lasting impact on me and my future. I hope to influence and impact people in the same way you led me to study history. Knowledge is power, and our history is forever relevant.

Read other articles by Gracie Smith

Remembering my favorite ‘Flounder’

Devin Owen
MSMU Class of 2026

Can you think back to a moment when you threw a rock or a stick into a pond and the water would scatter into different ripples? They go on and on and on. Have you ever felt a ripple effect in your life though? That is, a person or event that changed or guided the trajectory of your life, leading you to where you are today. I myself can probably think of multiple, both good and bad events that occurred in my life, people who had positive or negative impacts, and people who I hold a special place for in my heart.

The new year of 2025 marks two years without my Uncle Charlie. He passed away in April of 2023 after a fifteen-year battle with cancer. He was one of the absolute strongest people that I knew. His kindness and loyalty shined bright even when he was facing his darkest of days. When Mike prompted us to write about somebody who made an effect on our lives I sat and thought for a while. I feel like there are so many meaningful people in my life, all of which made numerous impacts on my life, shaping the way it has turned out so far. How could I possibly pick one person or event to write about when I’ve been alive for twenty years already? My uncle was very popular during his time on Earth, I was always hearing stories about him from everyone who found out I was his niece. It was always all good things; thinking of him brought smiles to a person’s face and their eyes would light up as they laughed and talked about him and their experiences with him over the years. For someone who had such a positive, significant impact on others I found that he is the perfect person to talk about, especially when focusing on the ripple effect.

When I was younger, my childhood was filled with a lot of experiences that a child my age should not have had to endure. Even though I was surrounded by so much negativity, my uncle was always a guiding light that reminded me of all the good that awaited me in the world. I always referred to Uncle Charlie as ‘Captain Flounder.’ You see, I was absolutely obsessed with "The Little Mermaid" growing up and anytime that I would swim at my grandma’s pool I would make Uncle Charlie play mermaids with me, and I dubbed him Flounder, because I (of course) was Ariel and Flounder was Ariel’s best friend. Up until he passed, we kept this name going. I even told his friends at the docks his nickname, although he wasn’t too pleased with that part.

Charlie Helmer was a man of many talents, but the one that mattered most to me was his talent for putting other people first. I can name a plethora of times that Charlie would go to great lengths to make sure I had everything I ever wanted or needed, but the one time that meant the most was my graduation party. The two sides of my family don’t always get along and frankly, I was worried that neither side would even show up due to the long-time ‘feud.’ Uncle Charlie went above and beyond that day. He was barely a year away from the date that he would pass, yet he made sure that he was there supporting me, making sure I knew that this was my day of celebration so I shouldn’t have to worry whether or not my family would get along. He went and talked to my mom’s side of the family and made conversation, he laughed with everyone, he met all of my friends, and he took pictures with me that I now get to cherish forever.

I remember when I introduced Uncle Charlie to my boyfriend for the first time. I had never introduced my family to someone unless I knew it was serious, so this was his first time ever meeting someone who I had been dating, and boy was he ready! My aunt and uncle hadn’t had children of their own but, he was fully prepared to play the role of over-protective dad for a moment. It didn’t last very long though; Uncle Charlie was too sweet and personable to appear intimidating to anyone really, let alone a teenage boy who loved his niece. They talked about swimming, fishing, sushi, food, and water polo for the entire weekend that we were visiting. It was the first time in a while that I was able to see my uncle’s eyes and face light up; it was as if the sickness that had its hold on him was non-existent for the time being and God did we revel in it. This was only a few months prior to his passing, and it warmed my heart to know that he got to have a few more normal moments and feelings to experience.

Grief is a funny thing. I feel like most people don’t expect it to shape us and change the way we view life; I know I certainly didn’t. Losing my uncle completely hotwired my brain and view of life in general. We take so many moments for granted and don’t think twice about it. Looking back at the memories I have with Uncle Charlie makes my heart happy, but it also brings tears to my eyes because I miss him dearly. Life hasn’t been the same without him here.

Charlie Helmer created a ripple effect in my life unlike any other. He taught me that our time is precious, and we shouldn’t waste a second of it. His presence in my life always reminded me that I am never alone, and he supported and pushed me to pursue every dream I had. Without him, I wouldn’t be where I am today: I wouldn’t be as good at baking or talking to people, I wouldn’t be as compassionate or empathetic as I have learned to be, and I certainly wouldn’t understand the true power that love and time hold. I learned very quickly the impact that one person can have on your life, the ripples they create in the path of your life plans, it just all comes into view once you’ve lost them.

Read other articles by Devin Owen

Words I should’ve said

Dolores Hans
MSMU class of 2025

As I sit back in solitude and observe the blue-sky transition to various shades of pink and orange, I remember the one who taught me to stop and pay attention to the little details in the world around me. I used to sit on the back deck of my Great Pop-Pop’s house with him and watch the sunset. Just the two of us. We would sit in absolute silence, unless he asked me a question or tried to tell me something important. To this day I can still remember the smells, sights, and feelings of his house. How the best feeling was stepping onto the ice-cold tile floor of the porch first thing in the morning. Or sitting on the rocks by the lagoon and watching the ducks float atop the water before venturing further out to sea. I remember the way it smelled when all of my uncles and cousins would bring an endless supply of meats and just barbecue for hours.

Great Pop-Pop was very protective of the flowers on his deck, and I remember them so vividly because everything else around his house was either rock or wood, there was no grass or line of trees where he lived in south Jersey. One time he told me that having his flowers there reminded him to keep an eye out for beautiful things. I was just a child when he said that so I don’t remember the context of it but, I do remember looking at them for a solid five minutes after he said it, with who-knows-what kind of childlike thoughts bouncing around in my head. I think what he said must’ve really stuck with me because I think one of my strongest qualities is my ability to see the incredibly subtle, yet beautiful parts of nature.

This quality has led me to find one of my biggest passions: photography. Through my lens I can clearly see every feather on a songbird, every vein of a leaf, and every detail of a flower like the ones on his porch. I can also observe the easily ignored qualities of people that make them beautiful. One of things I thought most beautiful about my Great Pop-Pop was that when he held you or hugged you, it always felt like home and intentional, like it was just as important for him as it was for us as children.

Somewhere down the line, I decided I didn’t want to sit on the deck and watch the sunset with him for one night. I don’t remember why, or if my little child brain even had a reason, I just remember telling my mom I didn’t want to. I think maybe I just thought that it took a long time and that because of that, I would get bored, as children usually do with their short attention spans and wandering minds.

Great Pop-Pop died when I was still young. I don’t remember him ever looking or behaving sickly, or even really noticing his old age. I remember my dad saying he was sick but to me that just meant he had a cold or something, I was too young to really understand the extent of it. And then all of a sudden, he was gone.

Those things I loved about his house just happened to become things I would come to miss. Being held by him would be something I would lay awake at night aching for. Looking at his face would only be done once more at his wake and from then on only in photos. I remember him not even looking like himself at the wake. He looked too dressed up, too clean, too young. It didn’t look or feel real.

I never got to thank him for teaching me everything he did. I never got to say goodbye. I should have stayed with him that one night to watch the sunset. I should have said thank you when he gave me cheerios with syrup for breakfast, or when he would hide quarters in the rocks that we would search for, and when he would give me a container full of change, he saved up every time he went to the store.

Now all I can do is think of him every time I see those yellow landscape stones or feel cold tiles beneath my feet or when I sit outside for hours beneath the color changing sky and appreciate it. As the sun sets, I wonder if he is proud of me, I wonder if he still sees that little girl or if he knows me better as an adult than I even know myself. I wonder if he grabs God’s attention and directs his gaze toward me. I wonder if God thanks Great Pop-Pop on my behalf every time I stop in my tracks to look at something beautiful. I wonder if he can still see the sunset.

Dear Great Pop-Pop,

I miss you. All the time. I hope I make you proud. Thank you for teaching me to appreciate the beautiful things around me. Thank you for saving up all of your change and giving it to me. Thank you for providing us with a home in your hugs. Thank you for leaving your wife’s rings to me, I treasure them. I hope you smile when you see the love I have found. He reminds me a lot of you. His hugs make a home, he is tall like you and likes golf, and he makes me laugh like you once did. We watch the sunset together like you and I once did, and I think of you every time. I try not to feel the empty space beside me as a place where you once were, but as a place I have saved for you, if somehow, someway you were able to be here, and I just didn’t know it.

Read other articles by Dolores Hans

Read Past Editions of Four Years at the Mount